Ever had a culinary white whale? Wait, step back: I’m showing my literature scholar roots here. For those who haven’t been exposed to Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick, that’s a reference to the central obsession of the main character, Captain Ahab, who won’t rest until he’s had his revenge on Moby Dick, the white whale that on a previous voyage wrecked Ahab’s ship and severed his leg below the knee. I know: spoilers! But the book’s over 150 years old, so I think we’ve passed the statute of limitations on spoilers.

Where was I? Right, white whales. So back in the hopeful days of early December, I announced to my husband that I had a great idea for a banana bread with toasted walnuts in it. “Great!” he said. Oh simple faith: months have gone by. Over that time, my responses to his “whatcha makin’?” have gone from “banana bread!” to “…banana bread, again,” to a sullen flick of the hand toward the endless pile of bananas on the counter.

Don’t get me wrong: they’ve all been fine. But fine isn’t good enough — that banana wrecked my boat! Er, rather, I’m not content to accept ‘fine’: I had a vision of soft, warm bread thick with the sweet cloying scent of bananas, heavy with the roasted notes of toasted walnuts, and with just the right punctuation of chocolate bursts, everything balanced perfectly. And instead it was always a little off: the chocolate would be overpowering, or the walnuts would take over the whole thing, or worst of all you’d think “oh, were there walnuts in here?”

I’d gotten to the point where I was almost just making banana bread automatically, not really expecting it to work out. But then, just a few days ago, I tasted the most recent loaf, and eureka! That was it! The bananas were there, familiar and comforting, the walnuts were making a strong backbone without covering everything else up, and the chocolate was just enough to surprise and delight. I may have started cackling maniacally in the kitchen.

Jarod will probably be a little disappointed now, because I’ll finally be able to read a book or watch TV instead of continuing the endless train of banana bread. But when next the urge for that magic combination of banana, walnut, and chocolate strikes, I’ll know where to turn. And so will you.